Getting Back To Basics

I spent most of the last week in Washington D.C., and no, it wasn't for pleasure. While there I was struck over and over by the realization that this world would be a much happier and kinder place if we all remembered the basics that we were taught as children. The basics are the magic words:

• Please,
• Thank you,
• I'm sorry,
• Yes,
• No, and
• Always tell the truth

Imagine that someone else thinks that they need you to do something. How do you feel if they say, “Do this, now!” Are you likely to do it? Maybe if they have more authority than do you, but even then, are you likely to do it with a happy heart? I doubt it. What if they said, “Please, can you do this, it would really help me and I would be grateful.” Notice, there was no question mark, it was still more of a command, but I bet you felt a lot better. How do others feel when you ask for help. Do you fill their hearts with resentment or with joy?

The only thing that we really have that is our own is our time. When someone spends their precious time or other resources to do something for you then thank them. Saying “thank you” is easy, costless and it builds grateful hearts.

Most of us display the fundamental attribution error on a daily basis. When good things happen to other people we attribute the result to their good luck and fortune. When something bad happens to them we attribute the bad result to their lack of effort, stupidity, or lack of preparation. However, when good things happen to us we attribute the result to our efforts. When something bad happens to us we find someone or something else to blame. That is the fundamental attribution error. Own up. When you screw up, and we all do, all the time, then say “I'm sorry.” Finger pointing doesn't solve problems, all it does is divert attention to another finger pointer. The only way to move forward is for the problem creator to say, “I'm sorry, that didn't work. I screwed up. Let's try something else.” Novel idea.

How often do people say “yes” when they mean “no”? When you say “yes” mean “yes” and demand the same honesty from everyone else. And this is related to the last point above. No matter what, always tell the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts and it can hurt deeply. However, we recover from truth-based hurt. Not so with a lie. Lies persist. Lies lead to other lies and the wounds caused by lies can fester for generations.

As a shamanic practitioner I think that it is important to uses these magic words with other hollow-bone, two-legged walkers on the earth (you and me). However, I also think that it is important to use these magic words with the energies and spirits of the earth. For example, before beginning a ritual I ask the land if it will please share its energy with the circle. At the end of the ritual I thank the land. After all, how would you feel if someone walked into your living room and started sucking your energy without permission. 
 

Here are a few ways that I try to apply the magic words:

• State my intention and ask for permission.
• Do my work and thank those (humans, spirits) who made is possible.
• Honor all spirits as if they were my own.
• When I make a mess, I take responsibility, say “I'm sorry”, and clean it up.
• Ask what needs to be done for the good of all life, listen, then do it.
• I am responsible for my orientation in life. Spirit answers the questions that I ask, the fact that they answer doesn't imply that I asked the right question.

I once heard that The Buddha said that we are all born with 108 problems, every time we solve one problem we get another. So sail through life without creating more problems. Sometimes when kayaking I like to look behind me and see if I am leaving a wake. Try to leave as little a wake as possible.