The Feeling of Aloneness

I took Simon and Garfunkel’s song, I am a Rock, as my theme when I was in high school oh so many years ago.  If you are not familiar with the song, the lyrics are:

 A winter's day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Don't talk of love,
But I've heard the words before;
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

And of course you can hear the song on YouTube.

While I am still a rock, and an island, and a bird and so many other things I realize that I am

not alone.  In fact, I am part of everything (rock, island, bird . . .) and everything is part of me.  

Oneness, aloneness and separation are all illusions.  Those feelings are caused by the social

conditioning of our experiences, collective social values, and a lack of awareness on our part.

When we chose, either consciously or unconsciously to dissociate ourselves from nature,

from each other, and from our helping spirits be feel alone.  Science is no substitute for cmmunity.

Communal societies have not made that mistake.  They still share energy and know that

whatever happens to one person happens to all, to the group.

As a practitioner of core shamanism I believe that the world (and us as a part of it) is the way

that it (we) is (are) because we have dreamed it into being.  If we continue to dream the same

dreams the world will continue to be as it is.  To change the dream get go outside and connect

with nature.  If separation from nature is one of the causes or spiritual and physical dis-ease

then connection with nature is part of the cure.  I find that wandering in nature (as I did this

morning) feeds my spirit and frees my mind from its connections with the mundane material

world . . . only when I do this are my mind and soul able to unite tougher to seek.

You are not alone . . . you are never alone . . .you and I always have been and always will be connected.

Getting Back To Basics

I spent most of the last week in Washington D.C., and no, it wasn't for pleasure. While there I was struck over and over by the realization that this world would be a much happier and kinder place if we all remembered the basics that we were taught as children. The basics are the magic words:

• Please,
• Thank you,
• I'm sorry,
• Yes,
• No, and
• Always tell the truth

Imagine that someone else thinks that they need you to do something. How do you feel if they say, “Do this, now!” Are you likely to do it? Maybe if they have more authority than do you, but even then, are you likely to do it with a happy heart? I doubt it. What if they said, “Please, can you do this, it would really help me and I would be grateful.” Notice, there was no question mark, it was still more of a command, but I bet you felt a lot better. How do others feel when you ask for help. Do you fill their hearts with resentment or with joy?

The only thing that we really have that is our own is our time. When someone spends their precious time or other resources to do something for you then thank them. Saying “thank you” is easy, costless and it builds grateful hearts.

Most of us display the fundamental attribution error on a daily basis. When good things happen to other people we attribute the result to their good luck and fortune. When something bad happens to them we attribute the bad result to their lack of effort, stupidity, or lack of preparation. However, when good things happen to us we attribute the result to our efforts. When something bad happens to us we find someone or something else to blame. That is the fundamental attribution error. Own up. When you screw up, and we all do, all the time, then say “I'm sorry.” Finger pointing doesn't solve problems, all it does is divert attention to another finger pointer. The only way to move forward is for the problem creator to say, “I'm sorry, that didn't work. I screwed up. Let's try something else.” Novel idea.

How often do people say “yes” when they mean “no”? When you say “yes” mean “yes” and demand the same honesty from everyone else. And this is related to the last point above. No matter what, always tell the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts and it can hurt deeply. However, we recover from truth-based hurt. Not so with a lie. Lies persist. Lies lead to other lies and the wounds caused by lies can fester for generations.

As a shamanic practitioner I think that it is important to uses these magic words with other hollow-bone, two-legged walkers on the earth (you and me). However, I also think that it is important to use these magic words with the energies and spirits of the earth. For example, before beginning a ritual I ask the land if it will please share its energy with the circle. At the end of the ritual I thank the land. After all, how would you feel if someone walked into your living room and started sucking your energy without permission. 
 

Here are a few ways that I try to apply the magic words:

• State my intention and ask for permission.
• Do my work and thank those (humans, spirits) who made is possible.
• Honor all spirits as if they were my own.
• When I make a mess, I take responsibility, say “I'm sorry”, and clean it up.
• Ask what needs to be done for the good of all life, listen, then do it.
• I am responsible for my orientation in life. Spirit answers the questions that I ask, the fact that they answer doesn't imply that I asked the right question.

I once heard that The Buddha said that we are all born with 108 problems, every time we solve one problem we get another. So sail through life without creating more problems. Sometimes when kayaking I like to look behind me and see if I am leaving a wake. Try to leave as little a wake as possible.

Did You Lose Something?

Don't follow in the footsteps of the ancients.

Rather, seek what they sought while following your own path.

 -- Dr. D. --

SOUL LOSS

Soul retrieval is based on the concept that events, especially traumatic ones, cause pieces of our soul to become lost. Soul loss is a natural coping response to a trauma. A part of us may leave to wait in non-ordinary reality when we are traumatized and it is too painful for us to be present and aware. Psychologists often refer to this as dissociation.

Hank Wesselman and his wife, Jill Kuykendall, identified the following symptoms of soul loss in their 2004 book, Spirit Medicine:

• A failure to thrive
• A lack of initiative, enthusiasm, or joy
• A sudden onset of apathy or listlessness
• Addictions
• An inability to make decisions or discriminate
• Being unable to feel love or receive love from another
• Blocked memory—an inability to remember parts of one’s life
• Chronic depression
• Chronic negativity
• Emotional remoteness
• Feelings of being fragmented, of not being all here
• Melancholy or despair
• Suicidal tendencies

The feeling that something is missing, not your keys silly, but part of you, may be an indication that you have experienced soul loss. Soul loss is identifiable through apathy, an absence of joy, an inability to feel love or receive it, suicidal thoughts, addictions, chronic despair and depression. Some people who have experienced soul loss try to fill the hole through addictions, compulsive behavior, or by being energy vampires. You can look and act competent on the outside, but still feel inadequate or disquieted on the inside.

Soul loss may occur when a person goes through a serious illness or accidents, through depression or strong emotional events, or even through being the victim of an attack. Some people are "soul-thieves" do not know that they are stealing soul parts from others. These soul thieves may be people close to us, people like our parents, grandparents, siblings, lovers and even teachers. While no one can make use of our missing soul essence but us when it is with another person we feel unnaturally connected to them or they may weigh on our thoughts more often and more intensely than is warranted.

It is sometimes helpful to review our lives and try to identify the times and places where we may have lost or given away part of our soul. Often you can recover the lost part by calling it back and lovingly accepting it back into your life. For example, I lost part of my soul and became an adult when I was six years old. My father, a graduate student at the time, was away working in another state and I was the oldest of three boys at he time (6, 5 and 4 years old). We were too much for my mother and she had a nervous breakdown. I had to care for her and my two brothers for a couple of days while my mother laid in the fetal position crying. A neighbor final stopped by to see why no one had been outside, called the hospital, and my mother was carted away. I had suppressed the pain and memory of that experience my entire life until about five years ago when, while meditating, I asked myself why I had never played as a child. The memory came back, I cried a lot, and I asked the child part of my soul to come back. It did and now at times I feel like a six year old, and probably act like one too.

If you feel like you have experienced soul loss and like some help then you might want to talk to a shamanic practitioner who does soul retrieval or to a hypnotherapist who does parts (soul) integration. I'll write about my approach to soul retrieval in my next blog.

Peace . . .

Feel Like a Shaman

I haven't done this since I was a freshman in college back in '70 and stayed up all night to read Catch 22.   A couple of days ago  I ordered a copy of John and Sharon Franklin's book, Gift of the Jaguar, from Amazon and it arrived yesterday.  I flipped through the book after opening the package and then set it next to my bed to read once the boys were in bed.  I got started at about 11:00 last night and couldn't put the book down . . . I loved every page and read it cover-to-cover, finally closing the book at about 3:00 this morning.  John and Sharon weave a wonderful and engaging tale; but its more than that.  It will give you insight into the formation of an Andean shaman.

I have been making trips to Bolivia and Peru since 1971 when my benevolent draft board gave me a two-year deferment to run a Spanish language adult literacy program in the highlands of Bolivia.  I know both countries better than most gringos.  And, I have read way too many books that claim to be framed in the Andes by authors who have never been there and get the culture, the people and the geography all wrong.  This book is an exception; it gets everything right.

If you want to know what it is like to become an Andean curandero (shaman) then this an entertaining and realistic novel.  For example page 86 recounts the blessing of a newborn child.  Change the words spoken in the book from English to Quechua and it reads like ceremonies that I have observed on the Altiplano.  It brought tears of rememberence to my eyes.

I shared my daily invocation with you in an earlier blog.  The pachamama  invocation on page 117 mirrors the spirit of a short-form invocation that I learned from one of my Bolivian teachers 15 years ago who would touch the earth and say something like:  "Pachamama (mother earth) bone of our bone and Spirit of our Spirit, may we walk in harmony with all creation." (from page 117).

I highly recommend this book.  The message is profound and the tale is engaging.  I have placed a link to the book on the resource page on my web site.  It is a great read.

It's Not Mysterious . . . But It's Good

It has been a while since I have put on my ND hat to write a blog, and actually this morning I was going to write about shamanic soul retrieval.  That will have to wait.  I came across an article this morning that you need to read.  It is titled, "Mysterious Honey That Kills All Bacteria Scientists Throw At It".  You can find the study here. 

The honey is made, obviously by bees, from the tea tree.  Now tea tree oil is one of nature's wonders.  I keep a big bottle of tea tree oil in my medicine cabinet, a vial in my backpacking first-aid kit, and another vial in my bike bag.  Tea Tree oil is a very powerful immune stimulant that helps to fight infections.  I use it in place of antibacterial ointments.

An aside on being a parent . . .  A couple of years ago I was on a bike ride with my sons and Ernie, then about 7 years old, took a bad spill going down a gravel road.  It was one of those, "Look dad, I'm going really fast . . . crash" moments.  Amid his tears I washed his scrapes off with water from my water bottle and told him, "You will be fine."  He responded, "Dad, where is my bandaid?  I need a bandaid."  I responded that I didn't have one with me and he told me in no uncertain terms, "Dad its your responsibility to always have some bandaids with you."  I thought about it and decided that he was right, it was my responsibility to be prepared.  Now I always have a couple of bandaids in my wallet, and first-aid kits in the car, bike, kayak, canoe, backpack, house and in my office.  Be prepared.

I have told you before that I get most of my herbal supplies from Swanson Vitamins.  Same disclaimer as in the past . . . I don't work for and receive any compensation from Swanson . . . its just the place that I like to shop, especially since the health food store here in my town closed due to lack of customers . . . says a lot about this town. 

Swanson sells a variety of tea tree honey, usually called "Manuka" honey.  You can also find tea tree oil on their web site.  Check it out, do your own research and then be prepared.